Well, I guess, I am still not used to the fact that Mike will not be around anymore. To be honest, I don’t want to get used to it. It doesn’t bring our love any justice if I were to do so. No, it certainly doesn’t. I don’t let myself get inflicted with the ache within the ache. When I almost sense the creeping sensation from the pit of my guts, slithering its way up to my heart, I just find something, just ANYTHING to distract myself with. I miss him badly.
But I shall be silent.
It’s also sad, that despite Michael’s confirmed return on August, I am not feeling overjoyed as how I am supposed to be. Hell, we’re partners since 5 years! I guess it is just there but I do not feel it, I can’t sense it. It’s stunted, halted and obstructed by grief for Mike’s absence. I mean, it’s not as if I don’t love Michael anymore. I do, I really do – and of a huge magnitude, mind you. Perhaps, I just love Mike so much more.
I’d rather bite my lip.
And I shall be silent.
“I have often regretted my speech, but not my silence.” – Publilius Syrus, ‘Maximus‘
Fatamorgana 